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Letting Down​/​What We Had

from Songs for Grownups by Jay Ackley

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lyrics

You’ve never been so dear to me as when you said so tearfully
God dammit Jay it’s killing me the way you let me down
There’s so much more that I can’t say, please have a listen anyway
I’ll never speak my shame away I can’t think straight in this town.

And I know you think I drink too much, I felt it in the way you clutched
When I longed for your gentle touch to soothe my furied brain
Now I’m waking up with my regrets of all the shitty things I said,
Echoing inside my head to you it must seem plain
That being close is a commitment so I know you must resent it
Wasn’t quite what you expected, I would fuck it up.

Do you remember yesteryear, back before I knew you dear
When we wandered unaware the best was yet to come?
And though it seems we’ve come so far I hang my wishes on a star
That someday we’ll know who we are and leave this dirty town.

You’ve never been so dear to me as when you said so tearfully
God dammit Jay it’s killing me, god dammit jay it’s killing me.

If only for the moment let’s remember what we had
Let us revel in the memories all mixed up good and bad
And though you look much different now you smile just the same
If only for a couple days, let us share this bitter pain.

Because it hurt me when you left me and it hurt when I left you
And the ways in which I needed you I hardly ever knew
I tried hard to replace you and I thought I came quite near
To see your face again now makes the others disappear

Because there’s so much I need to tell you and so much I need to hear
And our time is oh so fleeting and I’m filling up with fear
I’m afraid of losing contact, I’m afraid of losing touch
I’m afraid that when I’m not around you don’t think of me much

But I have faith in friendship, and I have faith in love
And even on the lonely nights we share the sky above
If only for the moment let’s remember what we had
Let us revel in the memories all mixed up good and bad

credits

from Songs for Grownups, released April 29, 2019

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Jay Ackley Brooklyn, New York

Minnesotan in Brooklyn by way of London; having a sing-song through the dystopia.

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