You went to the hardware store
To buy the cheapest tape they had in the store
You already resented all the moving expenses
And you were firmly resolved
Not to spend one cent more than you had to.
Now you’re fumbling to find the end of the tape
You’re picking at plastic and cursing your ways
You remind me of somebody trying to stop smoking
So you have one more cigarette
So you can calm down enough to stop smoking.
I know you’re having a really tough time
So I bought you some packaging tape
The good kind
It only cost eighty-seven cents more
And I love you so much
Now let’s get you up and out the door.